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How to Be the Perfect Mother

This is a story of developing perfection. Follow closely and you’ll see how a perfect mother is born…

Once upon a time, there was a mom who had five children. Their ages spanned over fifteen years, and for more years than she could count, she found herself struggling to be everything to each of them.

So how DO you become the perfect mother? The answer isn't as hard as you might think... And you may discover you're almost there, girlfriend!

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In the early years, there was the inevitable “new mom” adjustment: lack of sleep, loneliness without having family nearby, desperately trying to establish some sort of order and schedule with which to frame her days. Motherhood seemed to suit her, however, and just as things settled down, the second child came. It became quickly obvious that her carefully crafted routines no longer worked, and the stress this created seemed to expose character traits of which she was deeply ashamed.

Bible study, prayer, good friends and time got her through, but just as those dear children were smack dab in the middle of the teen years, three more children entered the picture.

She adored them all, of course, but the effort spent parenting teens, toddlers, and a tiny one once again created a perfect storm of sorts: her “Supermom” facade cracked, revealing her imperfect humanity.

The struggle of motherhood

Many nights she would lie in bed, rehashing in her head conversations that she felt went awry, or situations that she believed she handled poorly. She worried that her periodic bursts of anger, usually occurring when she was just plain exhausted or feeling totally overwhelmed, were going to permanently scar her kids. And she prayed that the inconsistency she often displayed, despite being unintentional, would not mess them up for life.

As the years went by, travel and living overseas were added to the mixture, and homeschooling developed into a lifestyle of learning for the crew. The older ones up and married, and while this mom struggled with lingering feelings of inadequacy and guilt, one day, in prayer, she realized something…

Enter the Perfect Mother

While watching the slowly rising sun during morning quiet time one day, she came upon a series of Bible passages:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

Isaiah 49:15

And slowly the fog lifted from her thinking.

All those years of worry and guilt and fear. All those feelings of inadequacy and insufficiency. God had this…the whole time God had this!

  • The insufficiency and weakness? Covered by God’s grace!
  • The “work” of motherhood, the handiwork of raising children? Prepared for her well in advance of creation!
  • During the times of struggle and worry and fear? She was not forgotten!
  • And as much as she loved her children…the Lord loved her – and them – even more!

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So who IS the Perfect Mother?

By now you may have figured out who this story is about. I share this brief summary of my journey because of the connection to you. Because you see, it would be very easy and accurate to replace your name in the story above. I mean, you might have a different number of children, or your struggles may have been slightly different, but you, dear friend, ARE a perfect mother!

You were created by God, long before the beginning of time, to be the mother to your children. Your inadequacies and insufficiencies are there as a tool for God to make you more and more like Himself as the days unfold. Your children’s lives and futures are in the hands of a loving Creator, and there is no mistake or misstep that you can ever make that will take them from that embrace.

So hold on to this:

While you may not have achieved perfection…you are a perfect mother!

  • Stop comparing yourself to others around you, and adapting to the world’s view of perfection.
  • Strive each day to be more and more like Jesus, and He will smooth out the rough spots.
  • Lift up your efforts in life, in homeschooling, in service to your family and those around you, to the Lord, and He will magnify and bless them a thousand-fold.
  • Seek forgiveness quickly from your missteps and mistakes, and you will be daily working out your perfection.
  • Remember, at the end of the day, perfection is not a destination, but a journey.

Now if you’re a mother who is weary from trying to feel perfect, and you need a break, I have something for you.

Enter below to win this “Couch Time for Mom” Gift Basket that I’m giving away to one fortunate reader.

“Couch Time for Mom” Gift Basket

And before you go…clicking on the image below (“Our Favorite Things…”) gives you the opportunity to win great gift baskets from these other bloggers! Click on the image or any of these links, and consider it an early Mother’s Day present!

  1. Handmade Gift Basket for Mom by Susan at The Sparrow’s Home
  2. Homeschool Sanity – My Mother’s Day Gift to You by Melanie at Psychowith6
  3. Couch Time for Mom by Pat at PatAndCandy.com
  4. Mother’s Keepsake Journal Giveaway by Amy at Amy’s Wandering
  5. Basket of Blessings for a Catholic Mom by Ginny at Not So Formulaic
  6. Prayer Basket Giveaway by Susan at SusanEvans.org
  7. “Just for Mom” $150 Value Gift Bundle by Sara Elizabeth Dunn at A Mama’s Story
  8. Write Your Family Story by Ginny at Not So Formulaic
  9. iPad Mother’s Day Giveaway by Kimberly @ Brookdale House and Betty @ Peace Creek on the Prairie
  10. Homeschool Resource & Curriculum Fun Pack by Heather Woodie at Blog, She Wrote
  11. Count Your Blessings Gift Basket for Mom by Tatiana at The Musings of Mum
  12. Mother’s Day Surprise Gift Basket Giveaway from Erin at The Usual Mayhem
  13. Children’s Books & Plush Toy  by Storytime Pup Channel
  14. Homeschool Giveaway by The Unstandardized Standard
  15. Adventure Books for Summer Reading by Dee Garretson

Gift Guides for Families that Learn at Home

Click on the image to find lots more wonderful gift baskets that you can enter to win!

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Discover some great bloggers when you take a look at the wonderful link parties we participate in! And bloggers, please add YOUR parties here, too!!

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Pat is a Yankee city-girl who has been adopted by the sleepy, sunny south. Married for 30 years and the mother of 5, she woke up one day recently to discover she reached the stage of life where she is the “older woman” described in Titus 2:3-5. A coffee lover, the purchase of a coffee shop a few years ago was her personal foray into the small, family-owned business arena.Today, PatAndCandy.com is her outlet for packaging up and sharing the nuggets of wisdom God and life experiences have taught her.
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8 Responses to How to Be the Perfect Mother

  1. manda April 21, 2017 at 2:58 am #

    Just had my second child and I daily struggle with balancing the needs of my children and my own.

  2. Sally April 20, 2017 at 11:42 pm #

    Wow, yes, this is me right now. I have been battling this for the last several months, struggling with depression over my insufficiency. I not-so-jokingly joke with my husband that I can’t be a good mom, a good homeschool teacher, and a good housekeeper all on the same day. I maybe can do two of the three… or sometimes one… usually I try to juggle all three and drop all three balls! The only thing that rescued me just in time was reading the verse “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:” II Corinthians 9:8

  3. Vonnie April 20, 2017 at 8:34 pm #

    Thank you for the post! It is hard sometimes not to compare ourselves to other moms, and our children to their peers or siblings.

    • Pat April 20, 2017 at 10:58 pm #

      Oh, isn’t it, tho?! But a friend of mine pointed out (this was in regards to social media, but I think the lesson applies here, too) that when we do that comparing game, we’re often comparing others’ “best” with our “worst”. I’d have to agree, and when you look at it that way…well, then it’s just shooting ourselves in the foot.
      Nevertheless, most of us fall prey to that at times…
      Praying that God will renew our minds as we read these words!!

  4. Karrie April 20, 2017 at 4:52 pm #

    yes it did..I am thankful to have god in my life and he is always with me

    • Pat April 20, 2017 at 10:58 pm #

      As am I, Karrie! Don’t know how people “do life” without Him! <3

  5. Judith Martinez April 19, 2017 at 11:45 am #

    I’m super thankful that God can make up for my lack! I struggle so much with feelings of inadequacy and I see where my shortcomings have hurt my children so it’s hard to believe I’m the perfect mother for them.

    • Pat April 19, 2017 at 11:55 am #

      Oh, Judith, I so get you! I think many of us suffer from that, too. But, dear lady, it’s important to remember that that’s only a feeling…and feelings change like the direction of the wind. Satan uses those to discourage us and get our eyes and minds off of Jesus and onto ourselves.
      You may not be perfect (in terms of the world’s definition) but God did make you just perfect for your children! Press into Him when you’re feeling discouraged and He will cover it all. Personally, I’m so very grateful He’s a God of redemption!
      If you find it helpful, you might want to subscribe to our site and ask for the “encouragement for moms” newsletter we send out. It’s like a periodic virtual hug 🙂
      You are loved, friend!

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