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Happily Ever After?




Recently I was working on an ah-mazing blog post about marriage. I was listing some creative ideas for keeping the home fires burning. You know, stuff like, “Leave notes in his briefcase or lunchbox for him to find during the day.”  And “Grab his booty when he’s least expecting it…just to let him know you’re thinkin’ about him.” Good stuff.

"Happily ever after" isn't realistic because marriage isn’t always sunshine and roses. And while this piece of advice may sound harsh, it's true. So what DO we do? Rue the day we walked the aisle? Of course not! Here's some hope!

 

While I was studiously preparing my post filled with great marriage advice, my sweet hubby had the nerve to walk right into the living room where I was working and say something that didn’t sit well with me. I’d love to tell you that I responded with a gentle answer and life-sowing words.

But, alas, I did not.

Instead, I popped off a snarky, sarcastic comment (my barb of choice). Yeah, that went over really well (there’s that sarcasm again). My remark had an effect that was eerily similar to throwing gasoline on a fire. It took about 2.2 seconds for that whole situation to go from bad to worse. We were seriously stokin’ some “home fires,” just not the kind I wanna be telling you about.

Eventually, we settled down. He went back to what he was doing. I went back to my computer. I began reading over the little nuggets of wisdom I had composed.

As I read I was thinking things like, “Yeah, I’d like to leave a note in his lunchbox, alright.” Let me tell ya’, the note that I felt like composing would contain no flowery words of forever love. I’ll just let you use your imagination on that one.

And forget grabbing his booty. Slap the fire outta his booty, maybe, but certainly not a flirty little squeeze.

How about I just go ahead and divulge to you the single, most amazing piece of marriage advice anyone could ever give you? You ready? Here it is:

If you want “happily ever after” watch a Disney princess movie.

I know…that sounds harsh, but it’s true.

If you’re expecting to ride off into the sunset with the man of your dreams with nary a contrary emotion to ever darken the surface of your blissful state of marriage, you’re in for a painfully rude awakening.

Marriage isn’t always sunshine and roses.

  • Sometimes it’s wind and rain.
  • Sometimes it’s thunder and lightning.
  • Sometimes it’s just plain hard work.

You will have arguments, disagreements, and differences of opinion. He’ll snore. You’ll steal the covers. His sing-very-loudly-before-the-sun-is-up personality will be in direct conflict with your I-need-2-cups-of-coffee-before-I-can-even-see-straight personality.

So, what do we do? Rue the day we walked the aisle? Absolutely not!

Here’s what to do:

– Choose to recognize that there will be arguments, but determine to work through them.

– Allow personality differences to become a catalyst for the give and take that’s necessary to find a healthy balance.

– Choose to enjoy your spouse’s strengths while praying for their weaknesses.

– Understand that you may, at times, be offended, but set your heart to forgive.

– Refuse to compare your spouse to someone else. (If the grass appears to be greener on the other side it may be because “the other side” is fertilized with poop. Keep your eyes on your own pasture.)

Strong, lasting marriages aren’t built overnight and they aren’t built by perfect people. They’re built by imperfect couples who choose to love each other through thick and thin, when love feels romantic and when it doesn’t; couples who choose to be humble enough to ask for forgiveness and gracious enough to grant it.

Though our marriage little resembles the goo-goo eyed, breathless “I dos” of almost 25 years ago, it’s deeper and stronger than I ever thought possible. Our union is built on the foundation of Jesus Christ and the example that He gives of sacrifice and forgiveness.

We’ve accepted the fact that “happily ever after” isn’t going to happen this side of heaven, but we’re embracing the journey – together.

 

Shared with some of these terrific blogs! Click on the link to see where we party. 🙂

Candy

Candy

Candy is a southern girl who enjoys the simple things in life. Dirt road drivin’, Sunday afternoon nappin’, back yard swingin’, and sunset watchin’ are a few of the things that make her smile. She’s been married to her best friend and the love of her life for almost 25 years and is navigating motherhood with her 4 children, aged 23, 19, 14, & 11. Homeschooling for over 18 years now, she is also a bit of a word-nerd (ok, maybe more than a “bit” – she actually considers making lists of homophones to be entertaining), a lover of books and chocolate, a survivor of cancer, an author, and a hula hoop maker.
Candy




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16 Responses to Happily Ever After?

  1. momstheword March 29, 2015 at 11:48 pm #

    Amen, sister! Today in my post I am talking about how our husbands can annoy us sometimes. But there’s NO WAY that we could EVER annoy them, right? 😉

    We’ve been married nearly 32 years and I wholeheartedly agree that marriage is fluid. There are easy moments and difficult moments. Moments where you want to rip his head off or just crush him in an overwhelming, loving hug.

    I love what you said here: “We choose to enjoy our spouse’s strengths while praying for their weaknesses.” So true. This is how to strengthen and build our marriages. Thanks for linking up to “Making Your Home Sing Monday!”

    • Candy March 30, 2015 at 8:38 am #

      Hahaha…”Moments where you want to rip his head off or just crush him an an overwhelming, loving hug.” Yep, that sums it up. 🙂 Loved your post today. Lots of great points!

  2. Terri Presser March 25, 2015 at 4:20 pm #

    Great post Candy and some great advice. Thanks for sharing at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings

  3. Rebecca March 23, 2015 at 11:53 am #

    I had to smile as I read your post because I thought you might have been listening into conversations at our house. Love is a commitment and while I agree that love notes, and special treats are wonderful and should be practiced, real love comes in the trenches. Thanks so much for sharing !!!!

  4. Rach D February 13, 2015 at 12:21 pm #

    Yes!! So true….

    Thanks so much for linking up with us this week on Mom 2 Mom Encouragement Link Up Party! Hope you come join us again soon,

    Rachael @ Diamonds in the Rough

  5. Sabra Penley September 9, 2014 at 5:41 pm #

    What great encouragement, Candy. Our marriages are never perfect, but we can strive to grow closer each and every day. Thanks for sharing your words. Linked up through Titus2sDay. Blessings to you!

  6. Joe Pote August 20, 2014 at 10:29 am #

    “If you want “happily ever after” watch a Disney princess movie.”

    Much wisdom here, Candy!

    Thanks for sharing!

  7. Steve August 20, 2014 at 9:25 am #

    Sarcasm is sharp and like a scalpel it can work to help or hurt. “If you want “happily ever after” watch a Disney princess movie.” That is helpful advice when coupled with “Strong, lasting marriages aren’t built overnight and they aren’t built by perfect people. They’re built by imperfect couples who choose to love each other through thick and thin”. Great insights, Candy! Visiting from the Messy Marriage link up.

  8. Beckey July 15, 2014 at 11:29 am #

    You got it just right! Marriage is not “happily ever after”. Marriage is work. And compromise. And growth. Ever after. Visiting via the link up.
    Beckey
    http://www.etsy.com/shop/queenbsbusywork

    • Candy July 15, 2014 at 11:39 am #

      Exactly, Beckey! So glad you stopped by. 🙂

  9. Michelle September 16, 2013 at 1:03 pm #

    ” And forget grabbing his booty. Slap the fire outta his booty, maybe, but certainly not a flirty little squeeze.” I am sitting here laughing with tears, lol. Been there!

    • Candy October 2, 2013 at 12:35 pm #

      Just keepin’ it real, Michelle! 🙂

  10. teacherstansel@gmail.com August 29, 2013 at 11:46 am #

    As always, sister….pearls of wisdom so eloquently delivered! And Rue! I love that word! :0)

    • Candy August 29, 2013 at 11:56 am #

      Thank you, Ann. 🙂 And, I agree…”rue” is a wonderful word!

  11. janet goree August 28, 2013 at 11:12 am #

    You nailed it!

    • Candy August 28, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

      Thanks, Janet! 🙂

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