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Coffee & Conversation Link Party #80 – Marriage Matters

Good morning and welcome to Coffee and Conversation #80 – hosted by PatAndCandy.com!

Coffee & Conversation with Pat and Candy!


With Valentine’s Day peeking around the corner, many of us are thinking about what to do, or to eat, or to gift, or how to surrpise our loved ones. Whether it’s your spouse, or your “significant other”, or your progeny, or parent…love is in the air!

But for us married folk (heck, for any of us with important people in our lives), we should be about showing love throughout the year.  Even moreso as Christians, we have a mandate to love others as He has loved us.  So often, however, we fall short.

Yeah, that’s where I’ve been lately.  Too quick to focus on the negatives…too quick to run those tapes in my head – over and over – about my husband’s shortcomings, and the frustrations I have. Too quick to just change the subject rather than dig in and deal with the inevitable issues that come up when 2 people, and sinners at that, commit to staying together “till death do us part.”

And so frankly, I was a little irritated that there were quite a few posts this week that had to do with stregthening and deepening your marriage. I mean, dontcha just hate when God wants to pull you out of your “I’m fine in my little bubble of dysfunction, thank you!” zone and move you forward?!

Candy wrote about this “syndrome” awhile ago…something about if you wanted a happily ever after existence, go watch a Disney show (you can read that one here). And I also wrote a while back about what it’s like to (have to) say “I do” over and over again (as in, having to deal with issues and recommit to your spouse on a daily basis). You can read that one here!  So, I guess there’s good news and bad news…

This kinda stuff, these kinda feelings come ’round now and again. Similar to peeling an onion, they resurface time to time, serving to show us yet another layer of sin and selfishness that may have risen to the surface again…that we have to deal with once more, albeit in a different form or fashion.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is that we have a Savior that loves us more than a bag of candy hearts and one of those humongous cards that has to be hand-delivered ’cause it’s too big for the Post Office to send!  He loves us more than the giant Whitman’s Sampler box and the very softest teddy bear you can find. And HIS mercies are new each morning…HE makes all things new again…and HE  replace a heart of stone with a heart of flesh.

Because of Him, we love…and, when we’re rooted in Him, each day we can find new ways to love and serve and grow closer to God and each other. Our marriages matter – even though that was never the message of St. Valentine!  And it’s oh-so-much more important than what is written in many of the sappy Valentine’s Day cards I’ve been looking through of late…

…so no more sappy Valentine’s Day stuff!  Today I’m featuring some of those serious “strengthen your marriage all year round” ideas that I told you about above.


15 Ways to Demonstrate Love to Your Husband


Shannon, from OfTheHeart, wrote “15 Ways to Demonstrate Love to Your Husband”… These are neither reasons nor ways to avoid saying the words, which,  of course, everyone “loves” to hear daily (see what I did there?), but they do speak to showing love in practical ways each and every day <3

15 Ways to Demonstrate Love to Your Husband



Wives Affect Their Husband’s Character

I really needed this reminder from Danielle, at SnippetsofInspiration. While many of us might wince at something our kids do or say because we worry about how it reflects on us, how often do we stop to think about how our own behavior reflects on our husband? There’s quite a bit to chew on here…

Wives Affect Their Husband's Character


3 Numbers That Will Forever Transform Your Date Nights

Try this idea on your next date night! It will transform a ho-hum evening into a serious marriage-building exercise! Thank you, Kathy!!

3 Numbers That Will forever Transform Your Date Nights


Why You Should Let it Go

Holding on to a grudge is never healthy, but it’s even all the more damaging when it comes to your marriage! Amanda, at Sicily’sHeart&Home, encourages us to “Let it Go!”

Why You Should Let It Go


Thank you so much for your inspiration and timely words, ladies…

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Pat is a Yankee city-girl who has been adopted by the sleepy, sunny south. Married for 30 years and the mother of 5, she woke up one day recently to discover she reached the stage of life where she is the “older woman” described in Titus 2:3-5. A coffee lover, the purchase of a coffee shop a few years ago was her personal foray into the small, family-owned business arena.Today, PatAndCandy.com is her outlet for packaging up and sharing the nuggets of wisdom God and life experiences have taught her.
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17 Responses to Coffee & Conversation Link Party #80 – Marriage Matters

  1. Karren Haller February 11, 2016 at 8:18 am #

    Lovely party and always enjoy the message, thank you!

    Have a great day!
    Karren Haller recently posted…Simple Valentine Wreath-Easy To MakeMy Profile

  2. Beth February 10, 2016 at 4:51 pm #

    Sounds like you’ve highlighted some great marriage posts that I need to check out, Pat! I do appreciate your authenticity and humbleness, my friend. That’s all we really need sometimes–someone willing to bear their soul so that we don’t feel alone in the struggle. And yes, growing in marriage and life will always be a struggle … thank the Lord, for the Lord’s help! 😉
    Beth recently posted…Comment on New Series on Wounds of the Past and Linkup by How To Have An Imperfectly Perfect Marriage – A Work Of GraceMy Profile

    • Pat February 10, 2016 at 5:53 pm #

      Beth, Yeah, I think the Lord’s trying to tell me something 😉 We’re never done ’till we’re done, I guess! Been coming across some really good stuff, and much of it is being delivered right to my door – or at least desk top – so I have no “excuse”!
      So very grateful for your words and wisdom, too, Beth. Hope that someday we can enjoy a conversation over a REAL cup of coffee!
      Have a super week!!
      Pat recently posted…Guiding Your Kids Through AdversityMy Profile

  3. Marilyn Lesniak February 10, 2016 at 2:14 pm #

    Thank you for the wonderful party! I appreciate you working so hard to share other bloggers content. I would love you to visit Thursday Favorite Things so I can return the favor! Have a great week.

    • Pat February 10, 2016 at 5:10 pm #

      Marilyn, so happy to have you here this week! I appreciate the invitation…and see you “over there” tomorrow!! Have you added your party to our directory?
      Have a great weekend!

  4. Amanda February 10, 2016 at 10:26 am #

    Thanks for featuring my post! I was super excited to see this 🙂

    • Pat February 10, 2016 at 11:06 am #

      You’re most welcome, Amanda! It was truly “feature-worthy” 😉

  5. Jed February 10, 2016 at 7:52 am #

    Hey Pat and Candy,
    Thank you for the reminder that marriages need to be celebrated and strengthened year round. I’m still smiling from that line, “If you want to live happily ever after, go watch a Disney show.” Very well said! In real life, marriages take work. Thank you for some excellent ideas for honoring our marriage all year long. And thanks for hosing another great link-up too! Wishing you guys and incredible week and a very happy Valentines Day!
    Jed recently posted…Simple Moments of Joy: Small Actions That Impact Our Kids in a Big WayMy Profile

    • Pat February 10, 2016 at 10:13 am #

      Yeah, that’s one of Candy’s lines – she’s a riot!! So appreciate you stopping by again this week, Jed – you’re becoming a “regular” round these parts!
      Wishing you and Jen (and that sweet family of yours!) a great week…
      Pat recently posted…Coffee & Conversation Link Party #80 – Marriage MattersMy Profile

  6. Patricia Krank February 10, 2016 at 7:18 am #

    These are some great features! I especially loved reading how we can affect our husband’s reputation. Wish we all could do a “real” coffee date sometime!
    Blessings and thank you,
    Patricia Krank recently posted…Milk, Eggs, Prophecy – FREE on Kindle!My Profile

    • Pat February 10, 2016 at 8:52 am #

      Oh Patti, wouldn’t that be TONS of fun?!! Maybe I should look into Google Hangouts and we could do that sometime! I mean, it wouldn’t be exactly the same, but…
      Go rock your week, girl! And thanks again for stopping by 🙂
      Pat recently posted…Just…Breathe…My Profile

  7. Ifeoma Samuel February 10, 2016 at 4:14 am #

    Hey Pat and Candy…I enjoyed reading these features too.
    Thanks for the party today. Have a splendid day.
    God bless

    • Pat February 10, 2016 at 7:12 am #

      Ifeoma, How wonderful to see you here again! Those were some excellent guest posts you shared – what a blessing to be connected to such grounded Christians who express their heart so well!! Thank you so much for sharing them with us <3
      Blessed and grateful...and hoping your week is splendid as well 😉
      Pat recently posted…20 Inspiring Quotes for Your TeenagerMy Profile

  8. JES February 10, 2016 at 3:44 am #

    Thank you ladies for faithfully hosting each week! 🙂 It is a nice addition to my morning coffee 🙂
    JES recently posted…Lemon Honey Marmalade ~ A Homemaker’s Musings {Repost}My Profile

    • Pat February 10, 2016 at 7:05 am #

      Oh, yes, JES, that’s my favorite way to look through the posts here! Now I’ll picture you at the table, too – a virtual “coffee klatch” – LOL… As always, so lovely to see you here again!!
      Have a terrific week 🙂
      Pat recently posted…International Day Makes Geography Studies Festive and FunMy Profile

  9. Lisa February 10, 2016 at 12:56 am #

    Thanks so much for hosting! I hope you’re having a fabulous week so far! xoxo

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