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Coffee and Conversation #140 – When There’s Nothing to Say

Good morning and welcome to Coffee and Conversation #140!

Have you ever had a moment like that?

Sometimes it’s when there’s a really good thing happening, but more often that not, it happens when a friend or loved one has bad news or something really tragic is going on. Other times, it might be that there is absolutely nothing wrong, and yet “the cat (gets) your tongue.”

There’s just nothing to say.

I had that moment today…actually, a string of them.

A friend shared about a really dark time she is going through. Another told me about a serious faith crisis she is having. And then my 18-year-old son opened up about an issue that had been on his mind and heart for weeks.

In all those situations, I could have waxed eloquently about God’s abilities, and how we just need to lean into Him; I could have reminded each one of God’s wisdom, quoted relevant Scripture verses, exhorted them to “hang in there.” But it just didn’t feel right.

Instead, I cried with one friend, prayed silently with the other as she poured out her heart, and “just” sat and listened to my son.

Sometimes I think that’s where God wants us. Even if/when we’re fluent in “Bible speak” – and maybe especially then – sometimes others just want need to be heard.

Need someone to listen to their heart.

Need to share their pain and let it out into the open so it no longer festers and grows in the dark.

Sometimes – even though it might feel awkward, and we might walk away kicking ourselves because we didn’t say such-and-such – we’re really doing our best work:

Getting out of the way, letting God be in control, and giving the Holy Spirit room to comfort and heal.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about us, or what we can do or say or write or teach or anything else. It’s about getting over ourselves, focusing on those around us, and being in a position to serve as God calls us.

At the end of the day, it's about getting over ourselves, focusing on those around us, and being… Click To Tweet

What do you do when there’s nothing to say?

Now, on to our features! 

Interestingly enough, these were our top 3 viewed posts last week. I can’t help but mention a theme in all these posts that seems to jump out at me: hearing from God. When we listen, He helps us order our priorities, comforts us in those times that are so painful and full of unanswered questions, brings healing and restoration to our closest relationships.

It appears to me that so many of us need to hear from Him.

If you’re reading these words, know that I’ll be praying for you, too, in the coming week.


To Be or Not To Be: Relating Well To GodTo Be or Not To Be: Relating Well To God

From Sue at WelcomeHeart:

How’s your To-Do List? Has it changed to your To-Be List? Here’s my present to you: free printable! (Happy Spring!)   It’s late-March. Spring’s here with summer close behind–on the calendar, if not in your backyard. We have billowy white clouds and blue skies and a chilly wind. Tho’ it’s getting lighter outside, these words sound a little dark — but true just the same:

                                   Redeem the time for the days are evil. Ephesians 5:16 KJV

Evil abounds. Even so, I want redeemed days, minutes, and time. I need God to make it so.

When my priority is relating well to God, everything else will follow.


Why Does God Allow Bad Things to Happen?Why Does God Allow Bad Things to Happen?


From Sara at TheHolyMess:

The truth is no human being has all the answers for why God allows bad things to happen.

What we do know is the truth foundation God has laid out for us in His Word, the Bible.

There are truths we know about God from the Bible.




4 Healing Ways to Pray for Your Marriage4 Healing Ways to Pray for Your MarriageFrom Beth at MessyMarriage:

When my marriage was at its messiest, I found healing and perspective not only through God’s Word but also through prayer.

If someone asked me what two items I would want to bring with me if I were stranded on a deserted island, I would probably say a “lamp” and a “phone.” But this isn’t so I can snap “selfies” by the day or night, but for a whole other reason entirely.

In a figurative sense, whenever I’m in a desperate situation, I bring with me God’s word (a lamp for my feet, Psalm 119:105) and prayer (my way of communicating with the Person who matters the most).

So in the series, Slow, Know and Grow, I’m discussing how to “know” God better through prayer, and as a result, find healing and empowerment for your marriage.


Thank you all so much for your inspiration and timely words…

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Pat is a Yankee city-girl who has been adopted by the sleepy, sunny south. Married for 30 years and the mother of 5, she woke up one day recently to discover she reached the stage of life where she is the “older woman” described in Titus 2:3-5. A coffee lover, the purchase of a coffee shop a few years ago was her personal foray into the small, family-owned business arena.Today, PatAndCandy.com is her outlet for packaging up and sharing the nuggets of wisdom God and life experiences have taught her.
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15 Responses to Coffee and Conversation #140 – When There’s Nothing to Say

  1. Sherry April 7, 2017 at 3:44 pm #

    That “to do” list looks about right! Thanks for hosting!
    Sherry recently posted…Home Sweet Home #317My Profile

  2. Journa Liz S. Ramirez April 7, 2017 at 7:14 am #

    Thank you for the party. looking forward to next week.
    – Journa, from the team at http://www.lollyjane.com & http://www.somewhatsimple.com

  3. Marilyn Lesniak April 5, 2017 at 6:21 pm #

    Thank you for hosting. I would love for you to party with me at #WonderfulWednesday, #Recipe Sharing Party (Thursday) #ThursdayFavoriteThings, or #OverTheMoon (Sunday). Enjoy your week!

  4. Sue Donaldson April 5, 2017 at 4:14 pm #

    Yes, for those fluent in bible-speak, God asks us to zip it at times so that we know Him (for real) and pass on His Holy Spirit encouragement which can come in a variety of ways. Bless you.
    And thanks for the feature! xx
    Sue Donaldson recently posted…God’s Guidance, Part. I–How To Get Un-StuckMy Profile

    • Pat April 6, 2017 at 9:20 am #

      He does, but I had to giggle imagining God telling me to “zip it!” Sometimes I think I need to listen to Him a little more often…
      Thanks for sharing with us, Sue, and praying for God’s blessings and favor on you, too, friend <3

  5. Theresa Boedeker April 5, 2017 at 1:29 pm #

    Thanks for hosting a link party and encouraging us.
    Theresa Boedeker recently posted…Yay for Mistakes! Part 8 | Some Mistakes are Really Blessings in DisguiseMy Profile

  6. Theresa Boedeker April 5, 2017 at 9:54 am #

    Pat, you are so right. It is not about us. We don’t need to fill all the silence. Sometimes just resting in the silence speaks louder than anything we can say. I remember being in the hospital and most people came in chatting, quote bible verses, or expecting me to entertain them. The one visit I remember the most was where my brother in law came into the room and just held my hand for about 5 minutes before saying anything.

    • Pat April 6, 2017 at 10:09 am #

      Wow, Theresa, thank you so much for for sharing that. Hospital visits are the hardest thing for me. Interesting that your perspective was that people were expecting you to entertain them. I guess in a way they/we do… Definitely a good lesson to learn about treasuring silence…
      Pat recently posted…5 Things Never to Apologize for to Your TeenMy Profile

  7. Beth April 5, 2017 at 8:53 am #

    That is so true, Pat! Often that is the case when people are hurting and confused … our first step should be to put an arm around them and just give them the gift of listening. Great thoughts and kudos to you for being that kind of friend and mother! Thanks for highlighting these other gems and for including my post among them! It’s always great to be here, my friend!
    Beth recently posted…Comment on No More Perfect Marriages Book Review, Giveaway and Linkup by Michele MorinMy Profile

    • Pat April 6, 2017 at 9:25 am #

      Love that: “our first step should be to put an arm around them and just give them the gift of listening.” That’s truth right there! Beth, I love your site (readers, if you’re not familiar with it…hop on over!). I learn so much from your posts and am so very encouraged to grow in and pray for and focus on my heart and my marriage through your words… Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing. I pray that you keep writing for a very long time 🙂
      Pat recently posted…Peer Pressure – Turning Nuggets of Coal to DiamondsMy Profile

  8. Michele Morin April 5, 2017 at 7:51 am #

    Great features today, and great insights in your post. There are times when our presence and our tears are the most powerful message of love and support we can offer.
    Michele Morin recently posted…Rising in Grace and GloryMy Profile

    • Pat April 5, 2017 at 8:35 am #

      I find that choosing features based on our readers’ choices really gives me an idea of where everybody is at. And I totally agree with you about the power of our presence and tears.

      Thanks for sharing here this week. Enjoy your week!
      Pat recently posted…5 Things Never to Apologize for to Your TeenMy Profile

  9. Helen Reynolds April 5, 2017 at 1:40 am #

    Hi Pat! I loved your thoughts. Sometimes we need to be better listeners than talkers. Thanks for the reminder and for hosting the party!

    • Pat April 5, 2017 at 8:30 am #

      Thanks, Helen, I do hope they’ve resounded with some… I know that I can often use the reminder m’self!
      Appreciate your kind words and for stopping by today. Have a wonderful week 🙂
      Pat recently posted…Does your senior have after-high-school plans?My Profile

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