I came across this article in the Huffington Post awhile back and it got me to thinking: is the “Habits of Confident People” just another bunch of hoo-ha?
There is just so much drivel out there these days, and sometimes when I read articles that are supposed to be inspirational or motivational, I just have to stop and ask “Really?“
But after reading this piece I decided to dig a little deeper, to see if there is really any substance behind the steps…
Confidence is important, of course. It not only undergirds how we feel about ourselves, but it can also act as an incoming tide, so to speak, and lift up those around us. Nothing is worse, however than confidence built on a weak or, even worse, a false premise. So I decided to look at The Word to see if there is any basis for these habits…to see if there are grounded reasons why these habits would or should help to create and build confidence.
I pulled concepts from the points discussed in the article, and then searched through the concordance I use in BibleGateway.com.
The numbered bullets below are from the original article in the Huffington Post, entitled 9 Little-Known Habits of Confident People. The reference below each one is/are the Scriptures that I found and believe supports or contradicts each habit proposed.
1. Do not overcomplicate it. You want something? Great! Create a plan to make it yours. Keep your eye on the prize and do not get distracted by other people’s noise or by your own ability to over-think.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
Supported in Scripture…
2. Focus on what you want. Confident people keep a positive vision in mind of the future. They expect good things to happen to them, and as a result they do, as expectation is a very powerful force.
3. Act as if it’s already yours. People who are self-assured allow their language and actions to be in line with their outcome. This inspires confidence in others.
4. Use words with intention. Consider the difference between two people discussing their new blog. One could be, “Yes, I am a blogger. You like vintage purses too? Awesome! We must connect — check out the new images I posted at…” vs. “Well, I am trying to blog but am not sure I am doing it right (nervous laugh).” Who do you think gets the most views and shares?
Matthew 5:37 All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
Totally supported in Scripture! There is great power in our words – both to bless and to curse. They should never be taken lightly!
5. Listen but don’t pay heed to others’ opinions. Other people are well meaning and sometimes err on the side of caution. Confident people listen to other people but do not let their difference of perspective take them off track. It’s your life!
6. Dedicate time to what matters. Confident people are happy to say no to things to make sure they have time and energy for their priorities. Funnily enough, people treat them with more respect as a result.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Totally supported in Scripture!
7. Act humble Confident types don’t talk endlessly about their successes. I was once at a large corporate event and I was speaking to an outgoing and likable woman who said she “worked in publishing.” I found out later that evening that she was the editor-in-chief of one New York’s most influential magazines. Confident people let their success speak for itself and don’t need to vocalize it.
Supported in Scripture. Humility is both taught and modeled in the person and teachings of Jesus!
8. Know failure is sometimes inevitable and don’t fear it. Worrying about failure can keep us from doing anything at all. Confident people are still confident even when they fail. When the chips are down they know it will pass.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Psalm 91:5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
1 Peter 3:14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.”
Supported in Scripture – perfect love casts out fear.
9. Repeat all of the above! Confidence building takes a lifetime. The more we practice confidence as an attitude, the easier it becomes.
Hebrews 12:1 And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, (emphasis mine)
Well, unless you can show me otherwise, it appears that there is a valid Biblical basis for the secular emphasis on developing self-confidence! However, the “fake it till you make it” mantra is useless without a foundational principle: unless we know who we are in Christ, and where and in Whom our strength lies, our self-confidence has no basis, and therefore will be easy to shake and difficult to rely upon.
Acts 17:28 For in him we live and move and have our being. (emphasis mine)
Is there something in your life right now that is requiring you to step-up your self-confidence game?
- Maybe you’re considering homeschooling, which, by the way, IS a big step!
- Or you have kids leaving for college and you’re working through the question “What next?” (for you, that is!)
- Or you’re facing the loss of your spouse, whether by death or divorce, and a huge unexpected fork in the road
- Or you see your kids struggling with self-image, self-confidence, and direction as they enter young adulthood.
We all find new challenges in different stages of life. And sometimes we just don’t feel up to the task.
If you need some practical help, here are 2 books that may be just the ticket. With summer right around the corner, why not take some time now and read something that will inspire you to conquer that fear…accomplish that challenge…climb that mountain?!
Habits are everything, and they really do create a cycle. That cycle can work to our detriment, or to our benefit! Many times we don’t even know what we’re doing that is bringing down not only our self-image down, but our energy, too!
“Confidence is what you get when you develop the right habits!”
I’m actually working through this book right now with our two high-school aged sons. For better or worse, research has shown that men often derive their self-image from their jobs, and so it’s important that young men examine their passions and interests as they begin to consider their life’s work – and face that choice with confidence! I’m also working through this for myself right alongside them, because in a few years, I’ll be facing an empty nest, so I’m examining my own options and dreams in anticipation of that season of my life.
What are you struggling with these days that may require you to shore-up your self-confidence? Which habit can you start developing TODAY?! Share a success or a need in the comments below – and let’s help each other!
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