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A Word of Affirmation in Marriage

Note: We are so happy to have Mandy Kelly, of Worshipful Living, join us today with a guest post.  Her words are especially relevant as we find ourselves in the middle of our series 30 Days of Praying for Your Husband. Read on and be encouraged to join us in affirming and praying for our husbands!

Words of affirmation have not always been my thing. I know, that sounds crazy, coming from a blogger – who is constantly writing out words to affirm and encourage. Yet, in my daily life, affirming others, especially my husband, isn’t always easy.

We need to guard our husband with words of affirmation. We need to let him know we love him. That we care, and respect him. Most importantly, we need to let him know we appreciate him. Speak words of life into your husband today.
It isn’t because he doesn’t deserve those words –  because he does. My husband is an amazing, gentle, kind-hearted man who takes care of me and our children. Yet, the reason why I don’t always affirm him like I should comes from within.

I knew I was lacking in this area when my husband told me he loved me three times in one short, two hour period. The first time he said it, I just responded with a casual “I love you too” and went on about my business.

The second time he said it, I thought it was abnormal, but just responded.

When he said it again an hour or so later- I stopped in my tracks.

“Darlin’, you know I love you. Why do you keep asking me?”

“Because  I wasn’t sure if you meant the words – they felt absent minded.”

WOW. My heart hit the floor. I didn’t mean the words absent-mindedly – but that is how they felt. My sin nature flared up – of course the last time was absent minded. We said it 2 other times in 2 hours!

But, God gently pricked my heart.

 

My husband needed the affirmation from me – he needs to know I love him.

  • I am a quality time girl. Acts of service is my second love language. So, if he is sitting beside me watching a movie, or takes out the trash – I feel loved!
  • He is a physical touch and words of affirmation kind of guy. He needs intimacy – and he needs affirmation. I struggle sometimes with both.

Our husbands have been created to be the warriors of our home. Yet, when we don’t love them the way they feel loved –  if we only try to push our love language on them – they won’t feel loved. Our men need to hear that we love them. That we appreciate them and notice them. My man – for all the strength and respect he carries – needs to hear those things from me.

 

My words speak power into my marriage.

They speak life into my spouse. Yet, what are the words our husbands hear from us the most?

Are we nagging on them – or building them up? As wives, we are often quick to tell them about what needs to be done, what we don’t like or how to do something better. Those words sound like dripping water – especially if they are all they ever hear.

We need to guard our husband with words of affirmation. We need to let him know we love him. That we care about and respect him. Most importantly, we need to let him know we appreciate him.

Speak words of life into your husband today.

Worshiping With My Life,

Mandy

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Mandy Kelly

Mandy Kelly

Mandy is passionate about two things: The Word of God and the Souls of Men (and Ladies!). She is a married to her best friend, and gets the privilege to love on their three blessings (who lost their biological momma leaving her husband widowed).She loves that the Lord has let her life be an example of delighting in Him and watching Him mold her life to make her desires match His. Deeply desiring to bring God glory through her roles as Christ-follower, Wife and Mother (in that order!), she enjoys women’s ministry, cooking, crafting, and traveling the world. Mandy is also passionate about adoption and helping women with infertility- as both are areas God has trusted her with. Her greatest desires are to have her marriage bring God ultimate glory, see her children walk in truth, to lead others to the feet of Jesus, and to lead women into deeper and intimate relationship with their Savior through study of the Word of God. You can also find her on Pinterest and Instagram.
Mandy Kelly

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8 Responses to A Word of Affirmation in Marriage

  1. Karen Del Tatto August 7, 2015 at 4:56 pm #

    It is so interesting how many bloggers were moved to write about conversation, words and the tongue this week!

    This must be a lesson the Lord is working on in my life because I was one of those bloggers. And then this morning, in my marriage devotional, I was challenged to affirm my husband in five areas that he is good at. Your post brought this message home even further.

    Thanks for sharing. I’m so glad I visited today! 🙂

    • Pat August 8, 2015 at 7:44 am #

      Karen, that’s a GREAT idea! I think I may accept the challenge this weekend as well! Let me know how you did, and I’ll “check in” on Monday!
      I’m so glad you visited, too! 🙂
      Have a terrific weekend!

  2. Brandi Clevinger June 3, 2015 at 3:22 pm #

    this is exactly how I am. I am acts of service to show my love and care for others. My husband is one for physical attention and words of love. I have to be more self aware of what I am, or not, doing because it does hurt my husband’s feelings.

    • Pat June 3, 2015 at 3:54 pm #

      There was a short piece in the current Thriving Family magazine that talked about JUST THAT issue! Our words can really cut to the core, which, as a writer, surprises me that I’m not more aware of it when it’s so close to home… Or maybe it’s a classic case of not-seeing-the-forest-for-the-trees syndrome…

  3. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser June 3, 2015 at 12:20 pm #

    Yeah, and I’m here from Wedded Wednesday. Sorry.

  4. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser June 3, 2015 at 12:19 pm #

    Great thoughts, and the personal transparency makes it real.

    I’d add one caveat, for either husbands or wives…if you have not bee using words of affirmation at all (or very little), increase slowly. Otherwise it can look false and worse, it an look manipulative.

  5. Debi June 3, 2015 at 11:03 am #

    Mandy,
    This is such an excellent post. Thank you for your open and transparent confession of your struggle. I think most of us can relate. As a writer I communicate better with my hands typing or penning words, not so much with speaking them. It takes a vulnerability to really express what you are feeling, and it takes time to not come off sounding flippant. I found your post on the MessyMarriage link-up. Glad I did.
    Blessings,
    Debi

  6. Nicole June 1, 2015 at 12:07 pm #

    A good reminder.

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